Susan did what Beta asked. She peered around her one bedroom condo and saw nothing cheerful or festive except a red and green Chinese order menu sitting on her coffee table. Sure she had a gorgeous place with its relatively new auburn couch she found on sale last month. The leather sectional was just right, after so many sleepless nights working from home. Her kitchen with open bar and black marble counter tops a mere 20ft from the living room housed one of those all glass see through custom refrigerators that came with the unit. Everything matched, nothing seemed out of place except her built in book shelf with its overflowing books and post it notes singling her next read or author to contact next. The walls where bare except two paintings she found on a writing retreat in Vermont last year. It was a shell of an expensive place and nothing screamed ‘jolly’ not for December 8th.
“Susan?” Beta asked again. “Are you ok?”
“I worked so much in the last two years on my books, I forgot to be…” She paused sucking in a deep breath. She was neither sad or indifferent just unsure of her surroundings for the first time. “Beta, this was her home too. She was the one who made the season brighter in a way I never could. She decorated, and I smiled at all the little things she did around here all December that made Christmas magical… You know I only started redecorating about 6 months ago, I was afraid to move anything for so long I didn’t want to lose my connection to her.”
“I know hunny but its been almost 3 years since she passed. She will always be with you? Your love for her won’t change…But you need to be you again I’m afraid.”
Susan stood there again unaware that in the three years since her wife had passed and in that three years she just never had the desire to be ‘jolly‘ or happy since. Her work had consumed her. Her last four books published quickly and she knew she ignored the signs of fear, passion for another, and holidays just went away and hadn’t been around for some time.
#dailyblogger Prompt word for today: Jolly